


Story of our Lives

by Sensue



Series: Suitcase of Memories [23]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Parenting, Brotherhood AU, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Narcissism, Postpartum Depression, Pregnancy, Stress Relief, Thoughtful Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:08:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26002408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sensue/pseuds/Sensue
Summary: Harland Sawyer reappears and, as usual, causes chaos in his son, Joshua's, life. Focuses on Joshua and Caleb. Emotional H/C.
Relationships: Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Suitcase of Memories [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887088
Kudos: 3





	Story of our Lives

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: Two months after the birth of Maxim Sawyer, son of Joshua and Carolyn. Juliet has not yet given birth to Jonathan Thomas (JT) Winchester.

It was Friday night and Joshua Sawyer was ready for his first 'Guys Weekend' since the before their pregnancy. Of course, the ladies joked about their 'sausage fest', but took off for their girly weekend retreat wearing matching pink t-shirts earlier that morning with Dean playing chauffeur. A cold pack of Caleb's favorite beer was chilling in the refrigerator from the ABC Store and he'd already arranged for pizza delivery for their late-night dinner.

It was decided that they'd all meet in Nashville, starting at the Sawyer's house. After all, the weekend fun was prescribed to give Carolyn Sawyer a break.

After the birth of their son, Maxim, Carolyn had struggled with postpartum depression after what had been a difficult pregnancy. Most of the symptoms cleared up after a couple of weeks at home with her new son and husband, but when Mackland called her up a couple of months later, she'd ended up bursting into tears when asked how she was managing. Dr. Ames spoke to his wife [Joshua's mother], Esme and they both decided a short break with friends would be a good form of therapy. Esme had taken up convincing the new mother that a weekend getaway from the baby wouldn't make her a bad mother, it would make her human. Joshua seconded that opinion and scheduled a spa retreat for the ladies in his life promising that he'd watch over their son.

Carolyn was nervous, debating until the last moment whether she should leave or not. Joshua did not want to add to her pressure and let her decide on her own; like his mother, he wanted his wife to be gentle with herself. She was doing an incredible job in caring for Maxim, but she needed to know that she wasn't doing it alone. She had family and Joshua was determined to prove that he could be a good father. Not only had Joshua read all the 'what to expect' books, but he'd attended every OB/GYN appointment and the new parenting classes offered. From the minute his son was born, he wanted Maxim to know that he'd be there for him. When he noticed Carolyn crying over the baby a few days after he was born, Joshua immediately called his mother to ask for advice. Between the holistic specialist and the neurosurgeon, Carolyn had gotten the additional loving care their family offered to get her through the 'baby blues'. Mac and Esme had been frequent visitors to their home to help.

She'd gotten better – but lately, Joshua noticed her become moody once again. She seemed anxious about something but didn't want to talk about what was bothering her. Joshua had wondered if it was because she'd made the decision to return to work with the Brotherhood Geek Squad in another couple of weeks, but Carolyn denied the concern.

Joshua had called his stepbrother, Caleb, and invited him to come down a day before the Winchesters would arrive. If it weren't for the fact that Juliet had jumped at the chance to get a prenatal massage with the girls in what was now becoming her ninth month of pregnancy, Joshua was sure that Dean would have canceled. As it was, Joshua was sure that he would be trading one anxious family member for another as Dean's worry increased the closer it came for the birth of his firstborn. Juliet was in many ways, Dean's rock. The woman refused to back down, not allowing pregnancy to slow her down in the slightest – deciding to work as a veterinarian until her due date. A ten-hour drive from Blue Earth hadn't made her nervous like it had Dean – she was excited to see her friends and have one last 'girls' night out' before becoming a mother herself.

Joshua had been surprised when Dean started calling him weekly, speaking of family life instead of Brotherhood business, usually starting the conversation with an awkwardly worded comment. The Sawyers had paved the path of parenthood among their group, with Dean and Juliet only a few months behind their experiences. Dean would call and ask for his advice about the best way to handle mood swings, the safest cribs in the market or how many diapers did they need to prepare. Juliet and Carolyn often spoke to compare their pregnancies; each learning from the other and becoming fast friends. Carolyn was often jealous of how smooth Juliet's experience was so far when compared to hers.

Sam had moved to Louisville to restart his college education, becoming Caleb's roommate so they'd both be closer to the farm. Sam had promised he'd join them in the weekend fun but would be 'late to the action' due to the need to complete a paper before leaving for Nashville. Mac had arrived; but he knew that his boys wanted a night of 'brotherly bonding', as Caleb had joked, and decided to have some alone time. It would also be his first night away from Esme in a long time. Mac was excited that he'd get a chance to practice his golf swing for a few hours.

Their families had become very close. When it was time to select a Godfather for Maxim, Dean was their choice. While many members of the Brotherhood whispered that it was the Advisor's way of ensuring a high-ranking position for his child's future as the Godson of the Guardian, to Joshua it was more than that. It was building a bond to heal the damages over the years. It was providing his son with protection – and in a few short weeks, a friend who'd grow alongside him. It built a connection – a real one that he'd lacked as a child.

The decision hadn't come lightly, and it caused hurt feelings. His stepbrother had been upset that he hadn't been selected as Godfather over his best friend, playing the 'we're family now' card. Joshua had invited Caleb to drop by early in hopes of smoothing things over with him and giving him extra snuggling time with his nephew. Mackland would arrive late in the evening to save from needing a motel room. It was the least Joshua could offer.

Much to Joshua's surprise, Caleb loved his son as if he was his own child. Caleb had visited many times throughout the pregnancy, always bringing a home safety item with him and installing it. At first, it was small items, such as electrical outlet covers – but by the time Carolyn was ready to pop, the entire house was well equipped to be as safe, both physically and supernaturally, as possible for the first baby in the family. If it wasn't safety equipment, it was chocolates or some small trinket for Carolyn. Caleb did his best to brighten her day.

Caleb had come by so frequently that Joshua offered him their house key when the man started picking the locks if they happened to not be at home to 'surprise' them with gifts. Joshua had never seen Caleb look so happy – excluding when Carolyn gently passed over the newborn to introduce him to his 'Uncle Caleb' in the hospital.

Therefore, when the front door opened while he was coming out from the bathroom, Joshua assumed Caleb had arrived. Wiping his hands on the towel, he smiled, teasing, "Couldn't wait to see Maxim, huh?"

The smile on his lips faded when he realized that the person in front of him wasn't his stepbrother.

-xxxxxxxx-

Caleb Reaves parked his new SUV in the driveway behind Joshua's Mercedes, then pulled out his overnight bag and the gift-wrapped present to carry them inside. He debated leaving the gift, unsure of how it would be received, then ultimately figured that he could laugh it off if Joshua didn't realize the significance.

He opened the door to the house, expecting Joshua to call out to him. Instead, he was welcomed by the screaming cries of his nephew. The rest of the house was quiet. Softly, he dropped the items in his hands, then pulled out a knife to scope out the house for danger. Caleb couldn't feel anything in the house other than Joshua and Maxim. The kid was inconsolable, crying as if he'd been at it for hours. He approached the dark living room and caught sight of a hunched figure on the couch.

"Joshua?"

The blonde-haired man raised his head to see who was approaching but didn't answer, returning to his previous position. Joshua had covered his face with both hands as if he were hiding.

"Josh? Are you all alright? Why are you sitting here in the dark?" Caleb approached, tucking the knife back into his pocket. He waited for a response, but nothing. Losing his temper, he shoved Joshua's shoulder. "What is wrong with you? Are you planning to let your son cry all night?"

When his shouting didn't result in anything other than Joshua curling tighter around himself, Caleb stalked out of the room and towards the nursery. The soft glow of the airplane night light only extenuated Maxim's tear-covered red face as he kicked his legs in the air and shook his fists angrily. Caleb bent over the mahogany wood crib that Dean had hand-carved with protective symbols as his baby shower gift and patted the two-month-old on the belly soothingly. "It's okay, Max. Uncle Caleb is here." The kid wasn't having it, crying even louder. Caleb picked him up and held him tightly against his chest. "It's alright, kiddo. You're okay."

He carried the baby over to the store-bought changing table, then swapped out his diaper for a fresh one. It had certainly been a long time since he changed a diaper – decades in fact. Maxim's cries softened but he still looked as if his world was ending. "Are you hungry, kiddo?"

Picking him back up, Caleb bounced him in his arms gently trying to comfort the baby. He carried him out to the living room, noticing Joshua hadn't moved from his spot on the couch. "Josh – Maxim's hungry. You gonna get up and feed him?"

Huffing in frustration when he was again ignored, he continued his trek into the kitchen to pull out the breast milk Carolyn had stored for the weekend away with one hand. Caleb had been in the home enough to know where everything was stored in the kitchen. The Sawyers had welcomed him; he was part of the family. Guest rules no longer applied – it could be a good or a bad thing. It was good that he knew where the weapons were hidden and bad that he was expected to serve himself when he wanted something to eat or drink.

Once the milk was warmed, he slipped the orthodontic nipple in the baby's mouth, relieved when Maxim finally stopped crying. Holding the curved bottle up to prevent bubbles, he walked back into the living room with the baby against his chest and flipped the lights on with his elbow. The living room had become somewhat of a tripping hazard with baby toys in strategic areas of the room (always with reach). Caleb sat in the rocking chair facing Joshua. Maxim's head rested against his arm as he lay comfortably now, soft sucking sounds the only noise in the room.

Staring at his stepbrother, Caleb fought himself to keep from snooping in on his mind. He'd promised Joshua that he wouldn't read him psychically without permission unless it was an emergency. Caleb was considering calling this an emergency. It didn't take long for the baby to doze off, pleased that he'd gotten his meal and snuggle time from someone who made him giggle when he visited. Easing the bottle away so he didn't wake him, Caleb shifted Maxim until he could gently move him into the playpen in the corner of the room. As the first baby, the kid had all the newest baby gear that was carted with him anywhere the family went. Maxim went through so much stuff, then grew quickly that it no longer fit him. Already, the newborn to 1-month items had been shipped to Juliet and Dean to help them prepare. It was more economical for both families as well as better for the environment than throwing them away.

Once the baby was settled, Caleb went over to the couch and sat within reach of Joshua. Part of him wished his father were here; Mac was good at getting to the heart of things. With the thought of 'what would Mac do?', Caleb rested his left palm on the hunched back while he gripped Joshua's right wrist with his right hand, sliding his fingers until he could feel for the thudding beat. Once he gauged that Joshua _wasn't_ having a heart attack, he squeezed his wrist and dropped his hand to Joshua's knee.

Shaking his knee to try to get his attention, Caleb worriedly asked again, "Joshua, talk to me, man. What's going on?"

When he was ignored yet again, Caleb gave up on pretending to be as patient as his father. Forcefully, he pulled Joshua's hands away from his face and turned him so that they were facing each other. He gasped when he saw the red mark covering the side of Joshua's jaw and cheek.

"I'm well. There no need for you to concern yourself. I was simply deep in thought." Joshua straightened, pulling away.

Caleb refused to let him, practically pinning him against the couch, while he gripped his jaw to examine the rapidly forming bruise. He could see an imprint of a large hand, one that had been wearing a ring where the bruise was darkest under the eye. Studying Joshua's eyes, Caleb noted that his pupils were equal-sized. He didn't think he had a concussion which would have explained his behavior. "Who hit you? And don't even _think_ of telling me you fell and hit a doorknob."

Joshua shook his head, turning to look down at his sleeping infant son. "Thank you for taking care of Maxim. I didn't…" He swallowed, then rubbed his forehead to keep from becoming emotional.

Pulling back, Caleb offered Joshua a little breathing space. "I'll get you an ice pack."

Returning a short while later, Caleb had a tray filled with the supplies he'd need: two chilled beers, a few cotton balls, an ice pack, a towel, and a shot glass filled with vinegar. He put the tray down on the side table, then dipped the cotton balls in the vinegar. Reaching for Joshua's face, he motioned his intention before pressing the cold liquid on the forming bruise gently. Usually, the remedy worked to dull the blue tones of a bruise, but if used early enough would help to clean and cool the red marks. Once he was done, he handed Joshua the ice pack that he'd wrapped in a clean kitchen towel to press against his cheek.

Popping the caps off the beer, he handed Joshua the first one before gulping his own. Joshua stared at it before taking a sip of his own, hissing when the alcohol burned the cut on the inside of his cheek that must have been caused by the hit across his teeth.

Placing the bottle back on the tray, Joshua sat dejectedly against the couch resting his head against the leather cushions. "I don't know what to do."

Mirroring him, Caleb returned the volley. "What do you want to do?"

"I want to be someone else."

"Who else do you want to be?"

For a while Joshua was silent, his face pale as he held the ice pack. "Anyone but a Sawyer."

Caleb's brow furrowed, "Is this about Harland?"

Joshua threw the ice pack down, taking in a deep breath. "He arrived at my home an hour prior to your visit. I believe that he picked the lock while I was in the bathroom washing spit-up off my shirt; I thought it was you, so my guard was down. I didn't imagine that my father would break into my home."

"Fuck," Caleb swore. "He's the one who hit you."

Nodding, Joshua confirmed it. "Harland said that he wanted to meet his grandson. I was – hesitant and overprotective of my son in his presence." Joshua rubbed at his forehead until the skin started turning as red as his cheek. Caleb put a stop to it gripping his hand within his own, not wanting to see him hurt himself.

"Don't you think it's time to share your burdens with me, big brother?" Caleb remarked genuinely.

It seemed to have startled Joshua as it was the first time that he'd been called that; they were both raised in single-family households as the only child. "Big brother?"

Caleb smirked, "Yeah. _My_ dad married _your_ mom, which means I'm your _brother_. You're _older_ than I am, which means I'm your _little_ brother and can annoy you anytime I choose."

Joshua rolled his eyes, "You've been annoying me for far longer than our parents' recent nuptials."

"I was practicing." Caleb shot back, then sobered. "Seriously, man. Has he hit you before? Is that why you're always nervous around him?" Nervous was a kinder word than what Caleb felt from Joshua.

"No. I provoked this," gesturing to his face. "As you know, Harland's form of ill-treatment is verbal. I pushed him, which wasn't intelligent nor strategic but at that moment, I wanted him to get out of my house. He fought back. I can't have him around my son, Caleb. I never wanted his cruelty around my family…"

"What did he say to you that's gotten you this shaken up?"

Picking up the beer, Joshua pulled a large gulp, this time embracing the burn. "Harland has been sending Carolyn letters weekly since the birth announcements had gone out. He'd been trying to sway her into allowing him to visit his grandson without my knowledge. I found the letters in Carolyn's bottom drawers after I kicked Harland out. She had hidden them."

Dread filled Caleb's voice, "I hope this isn't going to cause an issue in your marriage. You know Carolyn loves you – she'd never hurt you, man. She was trying to protect you."

"While I cannot deny that the secrecy won't affect our relationship, this is what Harland does. He puts poison in the hearts of those around him and influences them to act in _his_ best interests. I knew that something was upsetting Carolyn. I simply didn't imagine that the root cause was my father. Carolyn knew that I didn't want Harland to spend time with Maxim and so she refused to acknowledge the letters save for hiding them away. There was no indication she'd opened the envelopes. I was the one who ripped them open to read them… When things don't go my father's way, he likes to force them along. In the last few weeks, the letters had escalated in frequency. She's been so anxious – I never guessed this was the reason."

While every cell in his body demanded he hunt down Harland Sawyer and put a bullet in his brain immediately, Caleb couldn't leave his stepbrother while he looked so miserable. "I'll take care of it. I'll make sure that Harland keeps away. I'll upgrade your security around the house as well."

"Caleb – don't – do anything extreme. My father has many contacts in the Brotherhood, as well as Hunters that we often work with. It won't bode well to shake the hornets' nest. This isn't the time…" Joshua pleaded softly. Breathing deeply, Joshua bit the bullet and confessed, "Harland betrayed the Triad. He's been betraying the Brotherhood from the beginning."

Caleb sat back and drank the last of his beer, quietly listening – steaming on the inside but hiding it well. "From the moment that Jim Murphy was selected as Guardian over Griffin, my father has been corrupting members from the inside. He does it in a way that seems unrelated; almost natural. 'Boys being boys' – it's what he said."

"When was that?"

"When he convinced Ian, Fischer and I to 'introduce you' to the ways of hunting by hazing you all of those years ago. John had just been installed as Knight. My father was angry that two people that he had considered outsiders had stolen the roles he coveted within the Triad. When John started favoring you as his protégé over me, that's when my father started convincing the others that you weren't worthy. That you had demon blood. Harland was the one who asked Elkins to share the rumors of your grandfather and the yellow-eyed-demon with anyone who would listen. They had us convinced that you needed to be hunted. So, when we _hurt_ you, we – I thought it was justified. It was only afterward, and Jim being so disappointed in me, that I realized the truth. Harland was trying to convince you that hunting wasn't the life for you through us. He wanted you out of the way and when he failed at his goal, he shrugged it off and said, 'boys will be boys' as if he had zero accountability for the way the events unfolded." Joshua blankly stared at his hands as if he were back in time, covered in Caleb's blood. "I wish that it had been the end of it; that he'd just given up, but he didn't. And I – all I wanted was his approval and love. But it was all conditional to him. He'd only love me when it presented him in a good light; the proud father was a role that he would employ to project success. He'd only approve of my actions if it benefited him."

Joshua laughed harshly, waking Maxim who started whimpering, but he wasn't paying attention. "Mac tried to warn me the day we met. He told me to stand my ground and be true to myself, even if it went against my father's wishes. I just was too stupid to understand what he meant. I don't think I figured it out until today. His actions led to the loss of Garrett Matthews and nearly led to the loss of our Triad." Slumping, Joshua resumed his previous position, both hands covering his face in shame.

Maxim's whimpers were starting to turn into cries. Caleb frowned when his brother made no move to pick up his son who was very obviously, in the only way a baby could, trying to capture their attention.

Caleb got up and picked up the kid before he got too worked up. When Maxim finally got what he wanted, the frown turned into a big chubby smile. "Hi, Max. Did you get a good nap?" The baby blew bubbles and made noises in his happiness. He shifted the kid so that he was facing his daddy. When Maxim caught sight of one of his favorite people, he excitedly kicked his legs.

"Joshua, this is ancient history. I don't understand why you're still beating yourself up about it. I've forgiven you; hell, it's been so long ago, I'm forgetting the details." Maxim was starting to whine again, upset that he wasn't getting attention. Joshua continued to ignore him.

He grabbed Joshua's arms, forcing them at his sides, then slid the baby into his lap – keeping a hand on Maxim's belly when Joshua failed to support him. Caleb glared at him, physically moving Joshua's arms so that Maxim was held properly to keep from slipping. Maxim laughed, thinking it was a new game and happy to be in his father's lap.

Joshua's head was tucked under his chin, trying to hide the wobble as he broke. He lifted his son against his shoulder, then cried against him. Caleb pulled the two of them in his arms in comfort. Max was wriggling uncomfortably and getting upset that his daddy was crying. Caleb pulled Maxim away from Joshua, laying him down on the fuzzy bear mat he usually played on by their feet. It had a mobile across the top with toys he reached for when he was active.

Returning to Joshua, Caleb pulled him against his chest, laying a hand against his hair and stroking it softly like Mac used to do for him when he woke up with nightmares. "It'll be alright, Josh. But, I got to tell you, you're scaring me, big brother. I don't get why you're ignoring Max… and it's starting to piss me off."

Joshua's cries had slowed, but tears streaked down his face as he spoke brokenly, "I can't be around him, Caleb. I'm no different than my father. He'll be better off without me."

Jerking away, Caleb rolled his eyes, then shook Joshua by the shoulders. "You know, for a smart PR businessman, you're an idjit. You share Harland's skill in obfuscation, his blonde hair, and little else. You're **not** your father. Is that what he said that's got you all twisted up?"

"He said that he would help me ensure Maxim's future; said that I'd made him proud by infiltrating the Triad by offering up my son to the Guardian but I needed to work harder to make sure my son wouldn't inherit my innate weakness. That I was finally becoming someone he could respect. Said that I'd learned it all from him."

"So, what then? Are you planning to leave? Maxim will grow up without you in his life, wondering why his Daddy abandoned him – probably turn out to be an angry kid. He'll feel the same that you did throughout your life; rejected and lacking. Then, Harland wins again. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not, but what if I become worse than him?"

"You're a great father. You're giving your kid the best of everything. Look around – you can't find a single spot in your home that doesn't revolve around this little baby. You've put him first – ahead of everything. You'd sacrifice your own happiness for his; even if it would break your heart. You're a Mac-Daddy."

For most of Caleb's speech, Joshua looked shellshocked at the praise. The older man sparked back into life in the last part, confused and insulted. "Why would you call me a procurer of prostitutes?"

Teasing, Caleb shook his head, "I knew you weren't as innocent as you claimed to be! Have you been reading Urban Dictionary?" Joshua scowled at him but didn't deny the statement. "It's not MacDaddy, it's ' _Mac_ ' Daddy. It's a parenting ranking scale that I created while I was in the foster system. Mac was always the highest on the scale. Foster dad #2 was the lowest on the scale; I just called him Asshole." Caleb rarely thought of the asshole anymore; he'd caused some nightmares that were soon overtaken by worse horrors than being treated as a government-sponsored maid service and paycheck.

Turning back to the matter at hand, he continued, "You're forgetting Harland isn't the only father you have. You have 'Grandpa Mac' – who's been over here more often than he's been at home the last couple of months to help you and Carolyn. Josh, listen to me. You're not your father – not when it comes to parenting. You've been taught by the best – and you probably didn't even realize it. Dad's been over here teaching you about 'tummy time', listening for different variations of cries, and how to pat him so Maxim settles down quickly. What did you _think_ he was teaching you, if not how to be a great father?"

"You're right. I didn't consider Mackland's influence."

"You're also not considering _my_ influence nor Sam and Dean's. We're going to be part of that kid's life. We're going to be part of _your_ life – and none of us are going to let you screw things up. So, stand strong, Dad – and keep the faith."

Joshua seemed to shake off the misery upon hearing reason. He smiled down at his son, then gently lifted him back in his arms to hug him. He couldn't believe that he nearly let Maxim go; he couldn't believe that his father had mixed him up so badly that he would even _consider_ abandoning his family.

Caleb punched him in the shoulder that wasn't occupied by a baby, scolding, "Stop beating yourself up, Joshua. You're allowed to have a moment of weakness. Just – don't let the bastard mess with your head like this."

"I'm grateful that you were here to stop me from making the biggest mistake of my life." Joshua laid a hand on his shoulder, squeezing before returning to allow his son to grip his fingers. Maxim made delighted noises as he pulled the fingers into his mouth. Joshua pulled away wiping the slobber on the cold kitchen towel, leaving Maxim to try and shove his fist in his mouth while he drooled. "Can you hand me the rattle in the basket next to you?"

Doing as he was bid, Joshua pulled Maxim's fist away from his mouth, placing a rattle in his hand instead. Soon, Maxim was preoccupied with making noises, happy as a clam.

The doorbell rung startling the two men. Caleb launched himself up, hand at his pocket to pull out his knife. "Wait, it's the pizza," Joshua called out. He stood up, baby in arms trying to get his wallet out of his back pocket.

"I got it." Caleb waved him away, then cautiously went to the door. If it was simply a pizza delivery person, he'd pay them and grab the pie. If it were Harland making a reappearance, the Knight would make him regret raising a hand to his son. Stepping close to the door, he stepped over the duffle bag and the gift that he'd dropped on the ground. He eased the door open and spied the pizza delivery boy holding a large foiled pizza box warmer. Relaxing slightly, he pulled out his wallet and handed the kid a $50 bill. "Keep the change, kid."

They exchanged the money for pizza and after several 'thank you', the kid went on his way. He dropped the pie on the coffee table. "You wanna eat in here?"

"Yes," Joshua nodded, "we are, after all, supposed to be taking a break. I'll grab a couple of paper plates. Beer?" He placed Maxim down on his bear play pad again, taking a moment to tickle his toes before going into the kitchen.

"Definitely." Caleb sat down then flipped the top on the box open. "Hey, this is my favorite pizza!" He called out loudly, "Is it my birthday? I mean, first my favorite beer, then my favorite pizza?"

Joshua came in and handed Caleb a plate, motioning for him to grab the first slice. Once Caleb served himself, Joshua grabbed a piece then sat down next to him. "It was meant to be an olive branch; I knew you were upset that Carolyn and I had selected Dean over you as Godfather. Caleb, I didn't realize it would hurt you to that extent. I know what _my father_ – what the others are saying… that I was assuring Maxim's future by manipulating"

Caleb cut him off, "You _are_ planning for Maxim's future. There's no doubt in my mind, Joshua. I know what you were doing when you picked Dean. He's the Guardian. He lives in one of the most protected areas in the country; Pastor Jim knew what he was doing warding the farm. You wanted your son protected. You wanted Maxim to grow up alongside Dean's kid. And yeah, you can deny it, but you _do_ want your son to share your legacy. As far as I can tell, that's what all great fathers do for their kids. _Within reason_ , of course. But, manipulating? That has a negative connotation. Dean could have said 'no' when you asked him. I could have _told_ him to say 'no' if I felt you were doing it out of some malicious purpose, but I didn't. Joshua, I'm not saying that I don't feel slighted, but I do understand your intentions. And just because I don't hold the title of Godfather doesn't mean that I'm not going to be part of your kid's life. Hell, at this point," Caleb finished off the slice by stuffing it in his mouth, then spoke muffled, "I don't think you can do anything to stop me from being there for him. Maxim's mine."

With that, he picked up the baby from the floor and returned to the rocking chair to play with the gurgling child. "What do you think, Maxim? Uncle Caleb is going to be here _all_ the time and drive your Daddy crazy. Oh, yes, he is. Yes, he is." He baby talked and play-bit the waving toes, winking at Joshua the entire time. "'Cause that's what little brothers do."

"Are you going to use the 'little brother' title as an excuse to interject yourself into our daily lives?" Joshua questioned, eating his piece of pizza in a dignified manner. He had manners. His mother had taught him well.

Smirking, Caleb answered with a quick "Yes."

Laughing, Joshua accepted it for the manner in which it was meant. It meant were family and that he was forgiven.

"I am rather curious about this father ranking criteria. I assume you have a chart? You had mentioned Mac ranked the highest – what exactly does one need to do to win the number 1 spot?" Joshua's eyes sparkled as he egged his brother on.

Caleb sat up and pulled the baby along with him, he handed the kid a soft plastic baby book from the basket to keep him distracted while they spoke. "I forgot how ambitious you are… one minute you're at John level, the next you're trying to usurp Mac for the top rank."

"The John level? What level is that?"

"I'm very glad you asked me that. John ranks third from the bottom; though, there were times that he and Harland were neck in neck. The man meant well but was obsessed with hunting the demon that murdered his wife over his kids. Right now? Harland ranks second from the bottom with the Asshole firmly in the last position. I'm sure you'd agree with me on that."

There was a deep curiosity about what exactly this foster father had done to Caleb that would result in him ranking him at the lowest position over Harland, but Joshua knew it wasn't the time to ask him. Instead, he asked, "And who is after Mackland in the top positions?"

"Well, as I explained, Mac is the number 1 best father ever. Let's be honest, there's no way you'll _ever_ out-rank him unless you decide to adopt a twelve-year-old juvenile delinquent. I _just_ don't see you and Carolyn doing that, Josh. But, I will award you runner-up and that's saying something because you're above Pastor Jim." Caleb paused to grab another slice of pizza, letting his opinion sink into the shocked new father. "See, Pastor Jim was awesome to all of us. He was kind and generous with a strong moral compass, but he wasn't as _flexible_ in his views as you are. That flexibility and the way you connect with _all_ types of people – it gives you a leg up. I'm sure it is Esme's influence."

"Thank you. If I can mention my surprise, I had assumed the runner up position would be awarded to Dean. Or is my runner-up position to be renounced once Dean's child is born?"

"Dean? No, he's already ranked as a father starting at the age of four. We both know who _really_ raised Sammy… however, Dean is ranked firmly in the center along with Bobby. He'll be a good father and raise his children right, no doubt. But Dean – he's full of regret, pain, betrayal and _so much responsibility_ it would drown a weaker man. The Brotherhood will end up pulling him away from his family and he'll go – because he's a good man who won't let anyone lose someone that they love." Maxim had fallen asleep in his arms, relaxing at the warm friendly tones of his father and uncle's voices. Caleb got up and put him in the playpen again, covering him up with a blanket. He walked over to the entryway and picked up the gift.

Once he was within range, he tossed the gift at Joshua. "We both were thinking of olive branches tonight. That's mine."

The gift was hefty, rectangular. Joshua assumed it was a large book and began peeling away the craft paper wrapping. The last time he'd seen this type of wrap, Caleb had gifted him a painted canvas for his milestone birthday. He knew his brother had painted the scene of Jim's farm; he treasured it and framed it above his nightstand. It was the last thing he looks at, besides his wife, as he fell asleep.

This time, the gift was revealed to be a beautiful hard-bound book. On the cover, was a painted illustration of four boys in a ring of salt gallantly fighting the darkness ahead, almost King Arthur-ish in its style. As he flipped the pages, he realized that the art portrayed commemorations of _his_ life. Joshua sat back and read the words on the pages – suddenly realizing what this was.

He swallowed at the lump at his throat, looking at his brother. "Is this?" He let the question dangle, leaving it open-ended for Caleb to explain.

"It's a superhero origin story." Caleb smiled. He spoke nonchalantly, pretending it wasn't a big deal even though he'd spent the better part of a year working on it. He started on it when he discovered that there would be a new child born into his family. "I thought you might want to read it to the kid once he's old enough. _Personally,_ I think it's a better story than the Three Musketeers."

Painted illustrations starting at his teenage years at the farm and the _stories he lived through_ were embedded on each page. The guilt that he'd felt in his mistakes; the shame – all of it was reformed into portraying him as the hero at the end of the story. Each blunder taught a lesson; each misstep taking the young man closer to his destiny until he saved the day – finally redeemed and accepted into the team/family at the end.

"Dude, if you start crying again – I swear, I'll call Mac and hang out with him instead! And I'll take Maxim with me!" Caleb threatened, "I mean if I had known tonight was going to turn into a chick flick – I would have actually brought a chick with me and gotten laid!" He pointed his chin at the book, "It's the only copy – by the way. I signed the back and dated it for you. I'd save it, it'll probably fund Maxim's college tuition when I get famous. It'll be worth thousands… my first (and only) children's novel."

"It's not for sale. This book is going to stay in the family's private collection." Joshua's voice was rough, trying to keep the emotion bottled for Caleb's sake. He risked a 'Thank you' and was immediately rewarded with an eye roll.

"I'm grabbing another beer. Then you're going to tell me what you've got planned for this weekend, Joshua. I hope it's not golf. Both Mac and Dean have been asking me to go out with them. Well, Dean likes mini-golf; he's too impatient for the longer game. I'd rather go paintball shooting or something more active. Oh, and you better remind me to go to the hardware store in the morning. First thing, I'm upgrading your doorknobs!"

Joshua listened to Caleb, planning to go along with whatever he wanted to do this weekend. It was the least he could do.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you were wondering about Caleb's 'best dad' ranking scale:  
> 1\. Mac  
> 2\. Joshua  
> 3\. Jim  
> 4\. Dean  
> 5\. Bobby  
> 6\. John  
> 7\. Harland  
> 8\. Asshole (Foster Dad #2)
> 
> Note: Caleb will threaten Harland into staying away from Joshua's family until we see him again in Ridley C. James's story "Birthday Surprise".


End file.
